So drunk, too bad you don't want this
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
