it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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