Sponge bath it is.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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