If i come over, it means nothing
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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