I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
