i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
