Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
