So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Randomize
