Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
True strength comes from lack of pants
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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