I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I think people are normalizing furries
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
