I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
