Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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