I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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