We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
