Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
