is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
