On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
