And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
