these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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