Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
