Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
