tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
