remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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