What a fucking waste of an outfit
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
