So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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