It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
