i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
