the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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