she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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