Already got asked if we're dating
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize