so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
