He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
