I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you didnt know i had herpes?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
