1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
