I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
