Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
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