people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
