Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
