i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
