Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
