NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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