He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
