R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
