Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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