I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Randomize
