life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
