Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
