When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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