Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
