I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize