The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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