So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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