Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
God, I missed his penis.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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