I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
