Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
We don't watch enough power rangers
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
