I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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