he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
a search helicopter?!
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
