careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
