16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
