I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Randomize
