Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
