quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
